The feeling inside me now

dear J,

do u know why i like to take cold shower?
its not because it feels good,
but i will concentrate on that cold cause i hate coldness.
it can remove me of thinking those unhappy stuff,
make me feels better, make time for me to think calmly..


dear, do u know why i like to sleep with u?
its not because of ur human flesh body that im fond to.
but the woman that lays beside me.
ever since our 1st anniversary,
i have already devout myself to u.
when ever we sleep together, or hug each other,
i felt that we are truly bond to each other, meant for each other..
i promise myself that, u will me my only lady to eternal,
at least until the day that brings us apart..

but alas, the way u view me had change dramatically ever since u moved to Wangsa.
the longer we stay together, the more bad views u had of me grew more and more.
i know my previous working environment had change me into a vulgar n ruder
but it still dont change how i feel towards u..
at least ur changes over there dont change how i feel a bout u..

dear, i have no intention of leaving u..
but i just cant stand u r having bad times everyday because of me..
although i chant hard n work hard to change,
u thoughts against me had not..

dear, i cant promise u that i will be back for u..
my love to u is just too deep..
de damage will be severe and i know urs will be too..
i cant promise u that i will be there for u when u need me,
but i will do my best to do so..
at least for de next 2 months, till that i cant be physically be around for a long time..

dear, i hate to say this,
but, can we just stay together n sort this thing out?
it has been de largest n worst storm that hit us
and it is taking us apart, taking our relation to toll..

dear, i dont want other woman being with me..
the only person i want is u....

foooood conquest at home~

11th june, 1st day of my holiday at home

*wink wink* 

at home, is all bout relaxing...

leaving everything behind..

school, assignments, studies, everything

(p/s: except those who is important to me :P)

so, at home, it is really relaxing.. 

so,  in the same time, its also a food quest...

to be born in this family, tummy will never go hungry~

trust me... what u wanna eat, try or taste,

just ask my daddy~

introduciiiiiiiiiing~

*drum playing*

appetizer for the holidays~

not having a jump start, but a "rocket" start~

whats for dinner???

home made 12' x 8' lasagna~

 that pic is in a whole...

4 layer of lasagna pasta,

tonnes n tonnes n tonnes of home cook special meat sauce

n loads n loads n loads n loads of cheeeeeeesee~

for heavy meat eaters,
this is what u really need to have
juicy meat n the aroma of cheese circulating in ur mouth

n thisss is my appetizer for the holiday~

wayyy tooooo good for a "rocket" start eih~

How bout 2nd day??

well, lunch is pretty oriental...

anchovies with vegetable soup

and my mummy's famous vinegar pork knuckle..

seee~ what can i ask for more?? ahahaha

continue to the evening, we r celebrating mummy's birthday

another bbq partyyyy~

what we having??

see for ur self... haha

 daddy doing the bbq....

 what we having? 

some steak,

lamb shoulder,

chicken wings,

mashed potatos,

iceberg salad,

and the is a fish where i dont know the name.. no pics

cause my hand a oily n busy on the table.. hahahah

pretty amazing for a rocket start yes? 

holiday at home, food matters

-aAj3nn1-

welcome to the SD life baby~

23rd may 2011, is ur 1st day to in school, and this is gonna be ur new life...
it is not so different from what u have been through, but this is the new whole level...

We are no longer school kids / HSDs now..
We are now SD, the leaders of the future...
We embrace more demanding challenges to grow
We overcome problems to learn,
and we break through obstacles to shine

this rocky road, is full with rough edges, thorns, blockages...
u will meet foes like bad people, stress, disappointments...

ur new life, will be full with new challenges..
and also new terms we will use..

We no longer have 'homework', but 'assignment'
We no longer seek for 'teacher', but to consult 'lecturer'
We no longer going to 'school', but we are head to 'campus'
We no longer need 'uniform', cause it is no longer needed..


But dear, dont worry, im here for u... all the trouble will be gone soon...


Dear, always remember this...
I will always be at ur back, supporting u, when problems knock u down..


My ears will be always there, to listen to ur problems
My body will be there, to share ur happiness
My prayers will be there, to bless u

My heart will always be there, LOVING U

-aAj3nn1

Dates of April??

April 8, 2011...

our 1st date, my 1st rip to PD, whole trip are full with surprise... we dont even know the beach that we went... But we call it the Yatch Club... she told me bout her background, but not much.... i really hope to hold her hands tight n never let go~


April 17, 2011

our 2nd date, to WKSGM... well, the original plan was to bring her to see wk, and alongside with the SOH exhibition.. but alas, things dont goes well.... so, i dont wanna describe it too well....


April 20, 2011

my 3rd date, 2nd to PD trip went well, n decide where we wanna go after we r there... then, we decide Thistle Resort... A beautiful place, n beautiful people.... professional staffs n crews... we had a long chat, just all about our childhood....

But the interesting part,  for the first time, we KISSED~right in front of the amazing beach, the astonishing sea view, and the refreshing sea breeze....


April 22,2011

4th date, venue, camp5... well, we did some climbing, a small competition between gf of 2 silly brothers... we climb, we eat, n we laugh along with Stacey.. so baby, this is the stuff i like to do most, n u had experienced it.... so baby, can u show me, n share with me what u love to do most???

Night time, we went to Kenshido HQ, then back to Fish's place, nice place, big house, but not a functioning kitchen.. we ate, lovey dovey for a bit, n had a wonderful night together.. although Fish had misunderstood something, well, its just a good night kiss~



April 29, 2011

5th date, a DD50 experience meet back in Nilai town... i was so nervous back then... n thank you dear for ur soft warm hand to calm me down....

After the long wait at ktm, we had a good McD lunch, a good time in the kitchen, and a great night... well, we really had a wild night...

Thx to us, Jasper n Eeva became something, and there goes our very 1st double date~ beer, ice cream, misty night n some cliff view.. well, good time flies, n all had become priceless memories



Dear, i m here to tell u that, this is our story, let us together cherish the great time we had together, towards our happy future, hands in hands, heart by heart~



-aAj3nn1-

Baby,我错了，可以告诉我怎么挽回吗？

Dear，如果你朋友不想来，可以更我说，想见我，可以告诉我。

别担心会让我失望。
如果不想，一定要告诉我
别让自己做不想做的事情。
如果我知道了，心会很疼...
很希望不让自己的女朋友做哪些她不喜欢做的...


对不起·，请原谅那时没勇气的我，
连牵着你的手的勇气都没有...
对不起，请原谅那时没责任的我，
让你觉得我不把你当成女朋友那么对待，
对不起，请原谅那时没态度的我，
让你那么失望...
对不起，请原谅那时没用的我，
连吃晚餐都没和你一起吃...


我只能和你说对不起，
知道我没办法体会你的心
我知道说了也没用
baby已经痛过了...


Dear，我答应你，
以后有什么事，一定会告诉你，但，我会很努力很努力去不让你再次的伤心，
这是我的责任，
去体会你，了解你


我，答应你
Baby的要求，我会尽量，尽快的去解决，
去避免那些不必要的误会

Baby，谢谢你
谢谢你，告诉我错在哪里。。。


--aAJ3nn1--

Baby，因为我的无知，而让你不开心，对不起

The original idea is, to bring u all to the SOH exhibition, plus since baby never been to the WKSGM, so I initially want to bring u there myself… but, things don’t go the way it should, so, baby, from the bottom of my heart, im sorry..

In the ktm, because im bringing Evelyn there, its my responsibility to keep her occupied, try to make her feel that she is not alone… that y I take the decision to stand by u, but there is this 2 monkey hair malay dude is standing there… I was trying to let u listen to the song that I wanna share with u, but i only got the chance to show u at kajang… why? Cause im too afraid to ask the malay guy n say “hei, I wanna stand here by the side of my gf”

By the time we met Myo I, n Yuan Tian, im too, afraid… My close friend Myo I is there, then Evelyn is also there… I don’t know where my balls went that time…

After arrive at WK, same thing… My balls went missing again… What I do? Put on the happy excited face, n learn as much as I could… it was me who ask her to be there, it was also me, so invited Evelyn, Stacey, Ah Hou, even by half sister Wei Yi… I im help responsible to make sure that they won’t feel isolated…

Baby, im very sorry that I can’t company u for long, even I don’t have the courage to hold your soft warm hands…

Sorry for not able to be with u,

Sorry for not be able to hold ur heavy bag for u

Sorry for not be able to company u when u r bored..

Sorry for being not able to get water and food when u r thirsty n hungry

And most of all,

Sorry for not able to be at ur side, when u need me most….

Please, let me do better for u… let my shoulder be ur resting place when u r tired, let me comfort u in my shoulder when u cry; let me take care of u when u r not well…

So, baby, from my bottom of my heart, please forgive me…

My Best Birthday Gift

Some couple of days before, a friend just came back from Cameron Highland, and told me about her journey. Then the "million dollar" came out.. “Have u been to Cameron highland before?” and that, becomes the trigger for this blog…. Its all about my 19 year old birthday present.. and for the throne queen, I will make it short…

Its about a journey of climbing 7 mounts, and crossing 21 rivers…

Day 1, 22 Oct 09, 

2100

 from UniKL MIAT, we took a bus to Gopeng, Perak...

0030

we stoped by at Tanjung Malim and have our supper at a road side restaurant name “I LuV U corner”.

0230

the journey continues when we arrived at Gopeng bus station.

There, we were welcomed by mr BOTAK, a very active baldy, and he is our guide of our trip...

The thing that makes that night special is we have to sleep on the street... 19 of us... Haha

Hei, dont look, i wanna pee

DAY 2, 23 Oct 09, 

0800

The real thrill starts with a lorry which bring us into the jungle of Gopeng like cross country

we have to stand on the back of the lorry for an hour... 

but it feels like riding a roller coaster for 5 minutes...

it cross a tiny little metal bridge, which only fit the tires... it cross deadly slopes... it cross holes... 

0927

start tracking

1033
we cross the 1st river, and.....

.....our 1st rest point.

1102

We came into a village of orang asli

the people, the dogs, the chickens.. looks so unfamiliar.. then I saw something that really catch my eyes, orang asli uses electricity, that comes from  BIG SOLAR PANELs!!

A while later we reach an old dam which has '1978' engrave on it

Botak explain that this dam exist since japs was in our soil...

1987 dam

1239

we reach our 1st spot for our lunch on the river bank. 

What’s for lunch? 8 packets of maggie kari instant noodles and coffee

1343

continue hike

1425

we arrived at our camp site, kem Sungai Penjalin 1

which is near the river bank...

but, before reaching it, we have to cross it....

on the other side of the river,

We set up our camp, settle down, 

and the guys go wash up...

Dinner time

DAY 3, 24 Oct 09, 

0917

We start our day with bread and jam for breakfast.

and the journey continues...

1006

arrived at the interception of Sungai Penjalin and the main stream…

1229

reach campsite Sungai Penjalin 3. We un-pack for lunch, fried rice with coleslaw...

1348

The real hike start, a steep slope, wit bout 10kg bag pack nonstop for 20min...

1431

our unwanted guest came, the rain. It was wet and cold, but the hike continue...

1752

we arrive at our 2nd camp site, a orang asli village, the space aint wide, but we manage to set up a camp. we camp there, and had a salty dinner. It consist of super salty black pepper beef, salty rice, and salty mix vegetable... sorry, no picture.. :P

DAY 4, 25 Oct 09,

0915

we supposedly start hiking at 0900, but everyone overslept. Fried rice for breakfast…

1000

start hike with another slope..

1115

we take ‘5’ on track permatang, the height almost the same as the peak... it was here, when then million dollar question came out, “when is your 1^st time to Cameron?”, “when is the last time u came Cameron?” everyone is happy asking n sharing, while I kept quite.. and then, the questions hits me… “1^st time to Cameron, by 

foot…” all of a sudden, complete silence, and then blast into laughter…

1130

climb continues..

1330

stop hike n prepare lunch

1400

rains begin to pour… we ate Maggie lunch under a flying sheet,  special isn’t it???

1415

rains stop, hike continue

1500

last pit stop. It is a very beautiful spot, a ex-waterfall way.

1515

the last steep hike

1530

 arrived at mount Ubi, last peak.

When a hiker hikes, they never stop, although the hike is tough, but we take it as challenge, we skip city buzzing life for a moment, experience what mother nature can offer, try to survive in the heart of a jungle, all of them, are precious moments..

“Although the hike is hard, but the pay back, the view, never disappoints us…”

1600

after some picture moment, we continue hike towards our exit, out of a sudden,

 I see civilization. It is another orang asli village, but developed by the gov, n work in the tea plantation


orang asli kids dont see people that come out of a jungle much.. thats why, they are super friendly

1430

my first sight of Cameron. It looks like the sceen in the Hindustan movies...

1445

my first sight of Cameron’s building..

friends are looking for a clean toilet,

reading signs for hints.

1700

we arrive at the Bharat tea house.. the tourist was shock watching dirty hikers come out of nowhere.

From there, we took a car n a van toward Tanah Rata. For those who have been to Cameron should know the place,. We have our hot water bath, dinner, and head back to campus..

So, when people ask me about Cameron, this is what I will ask them, “U went there by car? Bus? Hehe, I went by foot… 4 day, 7 mounts, 21 rivers… and that, is my Cameron story, my best birthday gift so far”

a "SeaT" which is reserved for someone

Everyone have a throne, as they are the KING in their world, so, i am sure that there will always be a 'throne' for the QUEEN...


There is some who know what i am talking about, and of course, there will be a lot of people don't understand what i am crapping about.... never mind... what you do it is, imagine you yourself is a king, you have a throne... and of course, you will have a throne for your queen (u know what i mean)..


So, for this particular person, i believe i told you before that the "seat" is empty for quite sometime now... And i and you know that, and i believe that, you are now sitting on it, the place, the throne queen, of my kingdom...


We have been together without noticing.. and that is something special.. when i need a person to talk to, you are there.. when i got something to share with, you are also there... 


Sweet n bitterness, i thank you for being by my side.... <3


So, baby, u have been doing a lot for me.. so, do let me to know you more, understand you more.. And i will always pray for your happiness and well being of your family






...aAJ3nn1...

1st blog for my new blog from my ex-blog :P

When people ask me, “Why do we Drink??”
I really don’t know, then I remember what my friend told me

“I drink, because i've grown to accept thing as they are...
The inquisitive child inside us had died ...
long ago in a world he questioned too hard.....
in a world that didnt love him back...

We can hear echoes of the lust and pain...
far louder than the fantasies of peace and order....
we are not weak, but we are HONEST...
the only difference is that the sober try so hard to lie themselves
just to sleep every night....”

That’s the only shot we have to make it...
we are all the same
we are all alone
when the lights are out..


Alcohol is our bastard friend....
but in the end of the day....
He is our only friend.....